Pursue

Technically I’ve already written about yearly goals. But this isn’t just about the resolutions and goals I have for this year. It’s about the resolutions and goals I have for my entire life and what I’m doing now to work towards them. It’s about pursuing my dreams and thriving in every moment along the way, hence my word for the year: Pursue.

I tend to over-plan and set too high of expectations for myself, especially in my creative efforts. Considering how I’ve done the last several years in achieving the goals I’ve set, I don’t have a chance of coming close this year.

But I’m doing things differently.

Not only am I setting goals, but I’m also planning everything out in detail—scheduling my writing, editing, posting, and sharing; creating rewards for my accomplishments and punishments for my failures; and finding people to hold me accountable, inspire me, tell me off, and rant with.

If you aren’t already aware, I have five major writing goals for the year:

  1. Post at least one blog a week.
  2. Finish the rough draft of my first novel by the end of June.
  3. Write, edit, and post at least one video a week.
  4. Write at least one poem a week.
  5. Write at least four short stories this year.

I know there will be times I exceed these goals, and I also know there will be times that I fail gloriously. But the point is to keep creating, no matter my mood or lack of belief in myself because these are my dreams. And I will not let myself give up the things I love because of my own self-doubt.

I’m also working towards doing yoga and other forms of exercise more regularly, eating healthier, saving up money (which is difficult when I might not have a job after next week), and taking time to relax. Doing all of this and trying to achieve my creative goals may be awful on occasion, and I’ll definitely want to give up sometimes. But I won’t. I won’t be happy if I do. Goodness, I’ve already fallen a bit behind. Even so, I will not stop trying to accomplish these dreams. I will work to catch up when possible, and I will continue turning to people who can keep me accountable.

I did the cliche thing and started most of my goals at the start of the year, even though doing so is rather arbitrary, because it feels easier and somehow more inspiring. Also, it’s just loads easier to track my progress when I start a goal at the beginning of a year instead of the middle of a random month.

Anyways. Whatever goals you set for yourself at the beginning of 2017, I truly hope that you are able to meet them. In this third week of the year, when motivation and inspiration start to fade and you start thinking about giving up on those goals, know that they and your dreams are attainable. Don’t give up on yourself. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by your goals or terrified of what others’ opinion may be, think of how you’ll feel if you give up and then think of how you’ll feel if you push through and achieve those dreams. Because very few things feel as good as meeting goals that you once felt were impossible. And, love, you can do it.

What are some of your goals for the year? Let me know in the comments!

A Not-How-I-Want-It-to-End Situation

As I’m facing a potentially not-how-I-want-it-to-end situation, I’m trying to both face reality as well as continue pursuing my dreams. The process of sorting out my finances for this semester has been even more difficult than usual as I am to partake in my fifth year of university (for just one semester). Because of this, my aid dropped substantially, and I only have two days to finish financial registration before a $100 fee is added to my account. I still need nearly $3500. Waiting on the government and other financial resources to finish coming through or contact my family is really challenging, and the waiting is almost making me want to just drop out and attempt living my life now. It’s tempting, but I’m so close to earning my bachelor’s in English, and there is no way I would actually give up now.

It also isn’t encouraging me about what will come after the semester ends. I have no money and no idea where I will end up, but I have ideas. Ideas about where I might like to go and what I would like to do. Some of these ideas are things which could take years to achieve, but I want to pursue them the most. Ideas which have been lifelong dreams, like living in England and becoming fluent in French. Others have been in existence for quite as long, but they have just as much appeal, like getting a master’s in Linguistics and writing.

Even through these confusing (and somewhat terrifying) times, I have so many people who are supporting my ideas and dreams. Although very, very few (if any) can support me financially through all of this, basically everyone I know is constantly encouraging me and pushing me to improve myself and my talents. To/For all these people, I could never be thankful enough.

Here’s to wishing, hoping, working, and praying this time through to victory, fulfillment, and flourish-ment.

Pale Pink Paper

“Hey, Nathan? I lost the notes for our assignment.”

We went to a concert, took notes in response to some very specific questions, and enjoyed the company of the British man sitting behind us so we could get our experiential credit for a class, and I lost our notes. I wasn’t back in my dorm for ten minutes before I reached over to were I put the pale pink paper covered in scribbled, doctor-like scratches and messy, yet readable cursive to find that it was no longer there. Not only were the notes for our semi-drowsy, semi-entertaining course, but they also had some witty add-ins and comical sketches intermingled with the two dancing scripts. I was panicking as I carefully unstacked worn books, pulled back colourful blankets, opened organised drawers, and looked underneath the low-laying bed.

Nowhere. The notes were gone.

As I tried to calm myself down to avoid an anxiety attack, I pulled out the simple cream-coloured program and began to look online to find the orchestral pieces.

“Another hour and a half of listening to the same music again. Oh, joy,” I murmured sarcastically as I pulled out my phone to inform my friend of our newly perceived dilemma.

I started moving the furniture around in hopes of finding the sheet of paper for fear of my lacking ability to remember how the various songs sounded. I searched for several minutes, fully aware that I had taken the paper out and placed it inside the book which would be cited in our assignment, so I checked the pages again, gently turning every page until I had seen the entire book. It still wasn’t held inside, hugged in safety near the spine.

“Sam and Christina Jo took good notes as well, I’ll ask them if they can send us photos or let us borrow them,” Nathan replied.

That is exactly what occurred.

Several months later, as my roommate and I were rearranging the furniture for moving out for the summer, I moved my bed away from the wall for the umpteenth time to see a carefully folded piece of pale pink paper float to the ground.

Prompt: write about a loss.

Would you like to read about the imagined adventures of the pale pink paper as another random prompt? If so, let me know via the comments down below.

What’s something you’ve lost when it was (at least seemingly) dire that you have it and found when it held no more importance?