I’ve spent a good deal of time thinking about how to answer this one, especially since I have so many amazing people in my life that bring wisdom, fun, and encouragement, as well as many people I’ve never met or met in passing that have highly impacted my life.
But I realised that I want to go a completely non-traditional route with this post. Some of you may think this is a stupid response or incredibly narcissistic, but bear with me.
I’ve realised that I inspire me.
Not only that, but I want to explain to you why, perhaps, you should inspire yourself as well.
I have been through so much in my life, whether it be mentally, physically, situationally, or what have you.
This is often the case for everyone. Not one person could ever imagine all that any other person has been through, even when the situations are nearly identical, because every situation is unique and every person’s perspective is as well. I’m honestly a bit surprised that I’ve not only survived this last year and a half (not to mention the rest of my life). There were countless times that I thought of checking myself into a hospital because of how bad my anxiety had gotten. I could barely eat anything, barely leave my room, barely look at myself in the mirror, and barely talk to anyone or think about anything. I never became suicidal, but there were moments that I wasn’t far away. At other times, my heart or thyroid problems have gotten bad enough that I’ve been incredibly scared of what might happen to me, which of course makes my anxiety even worse. And I even survived about two months of being homeless. Thankfully, I was never on the street during that time, but there were a couple days where it was close.
But despite all that, I have pushed through. I have grown. I have thrived.
My time is limited, my work hours are rather unpredictable, my body isn’t capable of a lot of things, and I’ve been failing to spend the amount of time that I would like being creative. But even though all of those things are part of my life, I’m actually at what might be my healthiest ever. I’m working two jobs. I’ve only had seven panic attacks since the beginning of the year. I’m about to travel in Europe again, am being sure to spend a little bit of time being creative each week, and am living in a cute house with two lovely ladies, a smelly dog, and an adorably fluffy puppy.
I know there are things that I need to change so that I can live the life I actually want to be living, and I’m trying to make those changes. But even without them, I’m doing marvellously compared to this time last year. And although there a tons of things I would like to be different, I’m learning to live in and enjoy the present while looking to the future.
I’m finally figuring out what I like most, realising that those things may change (and that’s wonderful), and unabashedly adoring them.
Basically everyone I know has always admired the people who adore things without apology or explanation. I certainly know I have. Overall, I’ve never cared what people thought about what I wear or read, but I was always nervous about sharing my love of languages, of helping others, of the different shows and book series that I was obsessed with, and of the types of entertainment I enjoy most.
When I had my horrible mental breakdown back in 2015, I stopped communicating the joy I found in the little or bizarre things. I stopped talking about my favourite shows and books. I stopped asking people to watch things with me. I was terrified of what people would think of me and of the things I like. I felt as though someone who didn’t like a given musical or book that I liked didn’t like me either.
Thankfully, after months and months of working at it, I’m finally back to talking about these things again, even if not as much as I used to. And I can’t actually describe how freeing it is to openly love things again. All my friends know about my obsessions with musicals, Disney, books, and languages. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. Because I think being alive means finding joy in things, even if they’re as small as having a toothbrush in your favourite colour or learning a new word.
I’ve learned to see the good and potential in others again.
This might be the strangest sounding bit of this post, but it’s true. I’ve started inspiring myself more because of learning to take the time to let others inspire me, whoever they are. Each time I interact with a customer, coworker, friend, or random stranger, I look for something about them that inspires me, and I seek to inspire them. Sometimes it’s as simple as their pride in their clothing or the colour of their lipstick. Other times it’s the telling of part of their life story or a confession of something they’ve been struggling with but striving to improve. Whatever the case, I tend to leave nearly all of my interactions uplifted, simply because I’m taking time to see people as who they are.
I really hope that you are one of your greatest inspirations as well. Because goodness knows, this world is better with you in it.
I hope you have a wonderful day!
Who inspires you most? How do you inspire yourself? How do you inspire others?